By Andrew Yusko
Let me see how many of you have experienced a story like this one.
I’m sitting on the couch, watching tv, maybe I’m 15 or 16 years old. Ya know, the age where you not only know EVERYTHING, but you know that you know everything! So, I’m sitting there minding my own business and in comes my mom with a wooden spoon ready to attack! “Why is there still a full trash bag in the trash can?!” she asks as she raises her voice! I respond, “Because you didn’t ask me to take the trash out!” Critical error on my part, I’m cringing even writing those words amazed that I was enough of a nitwit to say them! As you can imagine the lashing ensued.
Now before I get any further, let me throw out this disclaimer; a. it was done in good fun and b. I wasn’t being beat, at 15 or 16 a wooden spoon wasn’t “frightening” for me any longer. My mom would chase me with them as a sort of joke!
I don’t know about you, but I know one of the hardest things that I have had to train myself to do is to learn how to actively listen. This story is a perfect illustration of that. You see before this little story took place, my mother and I actually had a full conversation about me taking the trash out. The problem, I wasn’t really listening. I was more focused on what was happening on the tv at the time then I was at paying attention to my mother and she caught me.
Over time I have had to train myself on active listening because it is vitally important in business and especially in sales. Often times when you are working with a prospect, they will give you all of the information that you need to close if you will just listen and ask the right questions.
Here are a few key things that I try to do to help me focus on what the person I’m talking to is saying:
1. Don’t Multi-Task
Pretty simple right? Wrong. Multi-tasking, I believe, is the number one reason why most people are terrible listeners. We can’t, even for a second, pull ourselves away from our smart phone, laptop, tablet, or whatever long enough to listen to the person standing in front of us. I see it all the time, the urge when I am talking to people in the office that they keep wanting to glance at their phone or their computer. Don’t be that person!
I want to let you in on a little secret. Multi-tasking is not possible. If you don’t believe me try this little exercise without cheating. First count from 1 to 10, then recite the alphabet from A to J. See how fast you complete each one of those tasks individually going as fast as possible.
Now try this: do the exact same thing, only this time combine them. For Example, 1A, 2B, 3C, 4D, etc. See how fast you complete that task and I think it will be painfully obvious that doing two things at once doesn’t work.
Turn off the computer screen, switch off the phone and focus. Or as one of my favorite characters from TV, Ron Swanson, would say:
2. Make Eye-Contact
I’m not entirely sure why this one is so difficult for people these days. When I was growing up my parents always taught me that looking people in the eyes showed that you respected them. Now it seems like most people do all that they can to avoid making eye contact.
This one goes along with the one above somewhat. If you maintain eye contact with the person that you are speaking with, it will be a lot more difficult for you to get distracted by your phone or your computer.
Doing this will show that you have respect for the person you are speaking with. Unlike Jim:
3. Take Notes… On paper!
I’m serious about this. I’ve personally tried the “I use my phone/iPad to take notes.” Yea that doesn’t work. As soon as I start to get just a little bit board, I immediately start switching to the Wall Street Journal or ESPN. It’s like clockwork. I start to listen, get a little distracted and there I go I’m completely gone.
I’ve learned that if I bring a notepad and a pen to a meeting, whether a 1 on 1 or a group, I am far more likely to pay attention and take solid notes. It is just a fact that if you take notes you are more likely to retain what is being said then if you simply listen. If you don’t believe me check this linkout!
4. Ask Questions
Lastly, if you want to improve on understanding, you should ask questions. What I like to use is the mirroring technique. Now many of you may be familiar with this as it relates to sales. The sales technique, you use non-verbal communication to mirror what your sales prospect does. For example, If they sit and lean forward, then you sit and lean forward.
This same method can be used for active listening. What I like to do is ask mirroring questions, basically just repeating something back to the person that they just said but forming it as a question. For example, “so Andrew what you would like us to do is ask mirroring questions based on what the prospect says, but in the form of a question. Is that correct?” Exactly!
Using this method forces you to stay engaged in the conversation because you need information in order to ask clarifying questions. It also allows for you to clarify anything that you may have been confused on etc.
In other words, don’t be like Homer:
I hope that you find these tips helpful and that you are able to apply them to your life, both professionally and personally.
Andrew T. Yusko Jr.
Director of Sales
Campany Roof Maintenance
&
Managing Consultant
Yusko Consulting Services LLC
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